Week 3 NFL Picks

Going into Week 3 there are 8 undefeated teams left, 8 winless, and the rest blessed to not be the latter, or unfortunate to not be the former.

This season is as wide open as the bitches from HBO’s ‘Cathouse,’ and the games are as tight as the lips of the Catholic Church when it comes to disclosing their inclination for pedophilia.

At this point it would be shocking to not see either Green Bay, or New Orleans in the Super Bowl representing the NFC. That’s the only definitiveness we have at this point of the season. Even Andy Reid is conflicted between an irrational decision and a logical one, in the same way Tom Brady was in the second half of last week’s game against the Jets by forcing the ball into a double-team, instead of throwing it to one of his other reliable targets.

The AFC representative is anyone’s guess right now. I won’t be surprised if it ends up New England with the potential they have. I won’t be surprised if it’s Pittsburgh with the type of defense they are playing at this point, or Houston the way they are playing, or Indy, or Baltimore, or Cincinnati, or even Oakland (they’re 1-1 too). Which is a good thing for a sports fan I guess?

Last Week (8-8)
Season (18-13)

Week 3 Picks:

Tennessee (W) @ NY Giants
– Two piss poor showings from these teams last week. 7 turnovers for the Titans, 14 points for the G-Men to the 38 of ‘Big Brother.’ Difference between the two is Titans just had one of those really bad games, and the Giants are really just a mediocre team.

Pittsburgh (W) @ Tampa Bay
– Josh Freeman will find that there is a huge difference between playing the defenses of Cleveland and Carolina, and the defense of Pittsburgh. It’s like being the best at something from a state like Vermont, and then go to a national symposium thinking you’re going to rip shit, only to get a new ass ripped.

Cincinnati @ Carolina (W)
– Carolina is bad, but throughout the course of the season they’ll put together some quality home wins.

Cleveland @ Baltimore (W)
– Come Onnnnn!!!

San Francisco @ Kansas City (W)
– After losing a heartbreaker last week, San Fran is desperate. But that KC team and crowd smell the blood of a 3-0 start, and it will be good enough to carry them to victory.

Detroit (W) @ Minnesota
– Vikes better get Prince back in that sky-box for good luck because the Brett Favre project is hitting the fan (DOUBLE ENTENDRE!)… You know what, ‘Sota is in disarray, and Detroit has some galvanization going on the last two weeks. I’m picking the 3-1-3.

Dallas @ Houston (W)
– It’s hard to envision Dallas at 0-3, and Houston 3-0, but who is going to block Mario Williams?

Buffalo @ New England (W)
– You hear that Brady! 56 passer rating in the fourth quarter of one possession games in 2009. Peyton Mannings was 132 (In the regular season). Get your shit together and GO OUT THERE AND FIND THAT FUCKING DOG in you!

Atlanta (W) @ New Orleans
– Tough Monday Night Game to come back from and play a division rival.

Washington (W) @ St. Louis
– Can’t wait to watch this one!

Philadelphia (W) @ Jacksonville
– Vick in = Win. Guy is channeling his Va Tech days.

Oakland (W) @ Arizona
– Poop bowl. Bruce Gradkowski is the plunger king.

San Diego (W) @ Seattle
– So Seattle does suck. That’s perfect for the front-running Chargers.

Indianapolis (W) @ Denver
– Peyton > Rookie DB’s in the regular season.

NY Jets @ Miami (W)
– Jets may own the Patriots at home in the second-half. But the Dolphins tend to be the equalizer in the whole AFC East fun bunch.

Green Bay (W) @ Chicago
– I just think it’s a night for four Cutler picks.

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