Prince Vs. Michael Jackson

A few years back in Chris Rock’s stand-up special, ‘Never Scared’ he brought up the question who’s better Prince or Michael? Jay-Z even stacked the two against each other in the song ‘Venus versus Mars.’ So now I’m asking the question, who is better Prince or Michael?

I know Michael is dead and he never got to answer back to Prince’s epic performance of posturing in the skybox at the Minnesota Vikings playoff games, so we will not apply the post MJ livelihood to keep everything fair. Come to think about it the guy had a movie come out after his death so those cards are in play.

Michael has been in the game since he was 6 charming the fuck out of everybody of all creeds. I don’t think any individual could stack up to that childhood resume, but Prince threw his best haymaker as a superfly high-school ball player. Still there is no matching what MJ did as a child. Jackson takes the early first quarter lead which appears to be a ‘barn-burner’ and Prince is just fighting to stay alive 45-29.

Go ahead look for Prince I bet you can't find him, he's that badass motherfucker on the bottom right.


As Prince’s career was beginning in the early 80’s Michael’s was taking off with record-breaking sales for his ‘Off the Wall,’ and ‘Thriller’ albums. Only the Ray-J and Kim Kardashian sex-tape could equal out to this dominating performance. Michael leads 95-51 and right now Prince is just trying to make it respectable.

You can say all the things about Prince you want, but you can’t say he’s not a fighter. This guy is making a charge with ‘The Revolution,’ and ‘Purple Rain’ letting all these motherfuckers know he is one bad dude. Michael seems like he’s getting way to comfortable with this early lead doing all types of crazy shit like taking Emmanuel Lewis on ‘Disney’ rides, and succumbing to all of these suspicions for inviting little boys to his house like Macauley Caulkin for sleepovers. This is not the Michael we are used to seeing, fact is he’s getting a little weird on us and with this effort in the third quarter and the type of classic shit Prince is giving us, like ‘When Doves Cry’ probably one of the greatest songs of all time. We got ourselves a game now.

Michael-108, Prince-93

Shit is just hitting the fan for Michael. I mean while Prince appears to be gay he fucks every fly bitch you can imagine and you think he’s a flamer just because your pissed he’s popping the cherries of girls like Carmen Electra and turning them out like clockwork. Michael, Michael, Michael, oh Michael. Your mouth is not for putting little boys balls in it. Prince is partying like its 1999 and your partying with kids born in 1999. 

With Prince’s stifling defense, and Michael’s sloppy play, Prince took over momentum but missed a last second shot to take the lead and the game by changing himself into a symbol. So we head to OT at 108-108.

Michael just got weirder and weirder hanging babies over balconies, climbing trees on national TV, looking more fucked up, and ‘Another KID!!!’ as Chris Rock exclaimed. Prince just stayed cool, relaxed and took a decisive lead in OT and the match with one of the most epic comebacks and collapses in the same game. Even Chris Rock said it himself, ‘Prince won.’

Prince-116, Michael-108

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